This last weekend was a very very hard one in our family's book.
For those that don't know Brandon and I have been married for 2 years come this September but have been together for 4.
So for the last 4 years I have been helping raise his two daughters Trinity and Deanna. There have been lots of ups and downs in their lives,just like in my own childrens'. Both the girls have RAD (reactive attachment disorder),but Trin shows more of the symptoms and things get more severe with her. Her maturity level is more on a 9 year olds than a 13 year olds.
It has been a struggle to raise her,but I have loved her as my own. She has struggled in school,but yet when I go to talk to the schools they say she's fine and it's because I'm the stepmom. Yup,because her constantly falling grades are because of me,the one who has stayed up many nights with her helping with her homework.
Anyways, the girls go see their mom(who lives in California) twice a year. For a week at Christmas beak and then a month in the summer. Well July was their month to go visit. Luckily, their mom and I get along very well and she has told me many times how much she appreciates me.
Well this visit I got the phone call from their mom that I knew would be coming sooner or later.(Especially after my oldest daughter moved to her dads two years ago.) Their mom said Trin was begging to stay with her and live with her.
I don't even know how to put into words these emotions. Especially for her dad who had raised her since she was 4.
Every day,especially for the last two years,have been a struggle with Trin. Constantly lying,or syaing she didn't "hear" me or "understand" what I was saying. Not picking up on social cues like teasing,and then just your general teenage laziness and argumentativenss. I'm not her mom,I have never tried to be,but she has lived in our house and is expected to follow the rules just like everyone else.
So trying to decide whether or not to let her go was a two week long decision.In my heart I knew it had to be done. I knew if she came back her behavior would become even more severe(We had dealt with two almost house fires in the last 2 months before she left),and we had 7 other children to worry about as well.
Before she left for vacation I was almost in tears daily because I just didn't know how to reach her.
This weekend their mom brought the girls back and we begin to pack Trin up to move to California.
Sunday they left,but not before family and friends came to say goodbye. Sadly, Trin did not appreciate all who came to say goodbye,or really seem to grasp why De and Holly were crying so hard.
I thought I was going to be ok....I really did...and then I hugged her.....and the tears flowed and my heart started breaking. Not all of her problems are her fault.,I do understand that. I also understand that she never bonded with me,unlike her younger sister De.
I made sure to hug her mom as well and thank her. It takes a lot to trust another woman to raise your kids,and I know I could never do that.
So now once again,our family is adjusting to a new kind of normal.
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