Monday, August 17, 2015

Anxiety Sucks

I have the best hubby in the world.

OK I know a lot of us say that but let me just say I have the best hubby in the world for me. We have had a lot of severe ups and downs, and for the most part(especially recently),we have learned we have to lean on each other to get through them.

When I am weak,he is strong

When he is lost,I take the lead

Teamwork,support,and love

This Friday I started having a bad reaction to my anxiety meds that I started a couple weeks ago. Every little thing was setting me off. I felt horribly agitated,and also extremely sad at the same time. My kids were getting ready to go to their dad's for the weekend and I had already scheduled a way to where I didn't have to drive them.(Lately me driving has been a BIG trigger of my anxiety),but I still couldn't shake the other feelings.

So he took a sick day for me.

Having anxiety's like that stupid little devil sitting on your shoulder whispering all the bad things that "could" happen.

"Psst hey you...I know you'e out here enjoying the sunshine but what if....say what if a meteor hit the backyard right now"

yup....because we all know how likely that is to happen right? But then my stupid mind runs with it.

Or god forbid a kid coughs while my anxiety is running high,because then I'm convinced he's choking and I'm going to have to perform the Heimlich.

My anxiety was under control pretty well before Andrew was born. After Andrew though,my anxieties have been on high alert. We are trying out paxil now. SO after my severe reaction on Friday,the Dr upped my dosage and switched to when I take it.

I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from having a preemie and going through the whole NICU experience. Anytime I hear a beeping now,I want to curl up into a ball and cry,because of all the monitors we constantly heard while he was in the hospital. Plus,after already losing one son at 26 weeks, 12 years ago,having Andrew has made me deal face to face with a lot of issues I thought I had already worked through.

Thank GOD for a very supportive husband,great kids,and an awesome dr. They're all very supportive,and encouraging.

My hubby even put together a game night with our cousins,dad,and aunt last night to help me to have some fun,AND took the baby all night so I could sleep!

Today I feel much better and am ready to take on this week.

Anxiety sucks...plain and simple.


  1. Wow! You are a warrior! I've only just started reading your blogs, but I had to tell you of my admiration. My daughter is a special ed therapist at a middle school and has dealt with many different disorders. She also just lost her second daughter at the age of 22 weeks. But she is strong of faith and has a good base to stand on. God bless you and your wonderful family!

    1. I'm so sorry about the loss of your granddaughter.It is a walk I wish on no one.

      Thank you for your kind words! I look forward to reading your blogs as well!