My Kids Are Funny

I have some funny kids. I also have some very strong willed kids. I have to remind myself that I have raised my kids to stick to their beliefs,and not to be afraid to speak their mind as long as it's done respectfully.

Some weeks raising strong willed kids comes back to bite me in the butt.

Thankfully this was not one of those weeks. This week was just the funny part....even if it may be slightly embarrassing to me.

1. We were in home depot last Sunday and walking through the tool section. Holly,dressed in her dress and her hair done and makeup done(It's her newest phase of always look your best),turns to me and says,"You know mom if I play my cards right in life I will never have to learn how to use any of these tools."

   (Now before anyone gets upset...I have raised all the kids knowing how to mow the lawn,do the dishes,and handle simple household tools. They all rotate on the chores done around the house.I WILL NOT raise kids that do not know how to take care of themselves. Lord knows there have been many times I have only had myself to rely on.)


2.  I came downstairs the other day to find Squishy sitting on the kitchen counter,having De help her make a PB&J sandwich. I commented "Well look at you." and her reply was:

"I know momma I'm cute."

3. We were grocery shopping yesterday and I was standing comparing prices when Squishy(again),announces in the middle of the aisle

"Momma your boobies are really full."

Without even thinking,I looked down and said,"Yes they are."

Poor guy in the same aisle wandered his way out of there.


4. And the last funny of the day comes again from Squishy...you know she's almost three so she's hilarious. She was sitting on my lap the other night after diaper changes for her and Andrew and she informs me,

"You know what Andrew has? He has a Peanuts. You know what daddy has? He has a peanuts too..."

Yes,yes, she is noticing the difference between boys and girls. Even if she can't pronounce it right.

Like I said my kids are funny.

Anxiety Sucks

I have the best hubby in the world.

OK I know a lot of us say that but let me just say I have the best hubby in the world for me. We have had a lot of severe ups and downs, and for the most part(especially recently),we have learned we have to lean on each other to get through them.

When I am weak,he is strong

When he is lost,I take the lead

Teamwork,support,and love

This Friday I started having a bad reaction to my anxiety meds that I started a couple weeks ago. Every little thing was setting me off. I felt horribly agitated,and also extremely sad at the same time. My kids were getting ready to go to their dad's for the weekend and I had already scheduled a way to where I didn't have to drive them.(Lately me driving has been a BIG trigger of my anxiety),but I still couldn't shake the other feelings.

So he took a sick day for me.

Having anxiety sucks...it's like that stupid little devil sitting on your shoulder whispering all the bad things that "could" happen.

"Psst hey you...I know you'e out here enjoying the sunshine but what if....say what if a meteor hit the backyard right now"

yup....because we all know how likely that is to happen right? But then my stupid mind runs with it.

Or god forbid a kid coughs while my anxiety is running high,because then I'm convinced he's choking and I'm going to have to perform the Heimlich.

My anxiety was under control pretty well before Andrew was born. After Andrew though,my anxieties have been on high alert. We are trying out paxil now. SO after my severe reaction on Friday,the Dr upped my dosage and switched to when I take it.

I'm pretty sure I have PTSD from having a preemie and going through the whole NICU experience. Anytime I hear a beeping now,I want to curl up into a ball and cry,because of all the monitors we constantly heard while he was in the hospital. Plus,after already losing one son at 26 weeks, 12 years ago,having Andrew has made me deal face to face with a lot of issues I thought I had already worked through.

Thank GOD for a very supportive husband,great kids,and an awesome dr. They're all very supportive,and encouraging.

My hubby even put together a game night with our cousins,dad,and aunt last night to help me to have some fun,AND took the baby all night so I could sleep!

Today I feel much better and am ready to take on this week.

Anxiety sucks...plain and simple.

We TRY to have a little fun

Our AC is out again and of course its during 100 degree weather. So to keep the kids cool I came up with the idea of having the kids bob for apples in the swimming pool. We had a neighbor girl over too. I'd say they had a fun time!

Yet Another New Kind Of Normal

This last weekend was a very very hard one in our family's book.

For those that don't know Brandon and I have been married for 2 years come this September but have been together for 4.

So for the last 4 years I have been helping raise his two daughters Trinity and Deanna. There have been lots of ups and downs in their lives,just like in my own childrens'. Both the girls have RAD (reactive attachment disorder),but Trin shows more of the symptoms and things get more severe with her. Her maturity level is more on a 9 year olds than a 13 year olds.

It has been a struggle to raise her,but I have loved her as my own. She has struggled in school,but yet when I go to talk to the schools they say she's fine and it's because I'm the stepmom. Yup,because her constantly falling grades are because of me,the one who has stayed up many nights with her helping with her homework.

Anyways, the girls go see their mom(who lives in California) twice a year. For a week at Christmas beak and then a month in the summer. Well July was their month to go visit. Luckily, their mom and I get along very well and she has told me many times how much she appreciates me.

Well this visit I got the phone call from their mom that I knew would be coming sooner or later.(Especially after my oldest daughter moved to her dads two years ago.) Their mom said Trin was begging to stay with her and live with her.

I don't even know how to put into words these emotions. Especially for her dad who had raised her since she was 4.

Every day,especially for the last two years,have been a struggle with Trin. Constantly lying,or syaing she didn't "hear" me or "understand" what I was saying. Not picking up on social cues like teasing,and then just your general teenage laziness and argumentativenss. I'm not her mom,I have never tried to be,but she has lived in our house and is expected to follow the rules just like everyone else.

So trying to decide whether or not to let her go was a two week long decision.In my heart I knew it had to be done. I knew if she came back her behavior would become even more severe(We had dealt with two almost house fires in the last 2 months before she left),and we had 7 other children to worry about as well.

Before she left for vacation I was almost in tears daily because I just didn't know how to reach her.

This weekend their mom brought the girls back and we begin to pack Trin up to move to California.

Sunday they left,but not before family and friends came to say goodbye. Sadly, Trin did not appreciate all who came to say goodbye,or really seem to grasp why De and Holly were crying so hard.

I thought I was going to be ok....I really did...and then I hugged her.....and the tears flowed and my heart started breaking. Not all of her problems are her fault.,I do understand that. I also understand that she never bonded with me,unlike her younger sister De.

I made sure to hug her mom as well and thank her. It takes a lot to trust another woman to raise your kids,and I know I could never do that.

So now once again,our family is adjusting to a new kind of normal.